Are we kidding ourselves?

Are we kidding ourselves? I face this question every day when I ask the people I meet, "What have you done lately?" If we are not careful, our answers can turn into a virtual catalog of delusional thinking.

One of the biggest mistakes high achievers make is overestimating their contribution to a success, thus crediting themselves with an achievement that does not rightly belong to them. When was the last time you heard a colleague recount a triumph that you recall as a team effort, but, having gone through the rinse cycle of your colleague's ego, has ended up sounding like a one-man show?

On too many occasions - when we're not erasing our co-workers from the picture - we can find other ways to exaggerate the magnitude of our own achievements. We may think that one of our accomplishments has the impact of a nuclear bomb resonating throughout the company like so much business-savvy fallout, when in fact the significance is more like a popgun barely making a sound. How often have you had a colleague regale you with a blow-by-blow account of a sale or a supposedly fabulous meeting with a client while you politely listen and think, "So what?"

People also have a tendency to go too far back in time, digging up an achievement that happened so long ago that it's no longer relevant and may even qualify as ancient history. It makes them sound as though they're clinging to their past, or worse, they haven't done anything significant in a long, long time.

The opposite is also true. A lot of us tend to cite our most recent achievement, as if that particular event has more weight or significance because it is freshest in our minds. Psychologists call this "recency bias." It's why a gambler doubles his bet at a blackjack table after he's won a few hands; he over-weights his feeling of good luck, even though his odds of winning haven't changed. It's why investors plunge into a stock or mutual fund based on the most recent quarterly performance, even though a more reliable time frame would be five- or 10-year performance.

It's tempting, almost irresistible, to gravitate to the nearest successful example at hand to calculate our achievements, but it may not be the most meaningful representation of our abilities.

Remember this as you establish what you have done lately. Apply a stress test to each achievement by asking yourself:

a) Is this what happened, or am I filtering it through some inflexible personal preconception or belief?

b) Am I exaggerating my role in the achievement?

c) Am I discounting other people's contributions to the achievement?

d) Am I going too far back in time? Is the achievement still credible, or is it just old?

e) Am I attaching too much weight to a recent event simply because I remember it more vividly than an older event?

Chip away at any false assumptions that may distort your achievements, and you'll get a much clearer picture of what you've done lately. Without it, you'll never be able to envision everything else you can do. By increasing our understanding of achievement - what it means to us and what it means to the world - we can increase our mojo, that positive spirit that starts from the inside and radiates to the outside.

We can look at ourselves more objectively. We can determine what really matters in our lives. We can strive for achievement that really matters to us and let go of achievement that does not create happiness and meaning in our lives.

If we want to increase our mojo, we can either change the degree of our achievement - how well we are doing - or change the definition of our achievement - what we are trying to do well.

Should Child Beggars be given Money or Not?

India may be one of the fastest growing economies in the world, but the irony is that there is still large number of children begging in the streets of its leading cities like Bangalore, Mumbai, Pune, Delhi and Kolkata.

These innocent children do not beg on their own and hardly get anything, as they are exploited by mafia gangs, and gang leaders. Why do we see children below the age of 14 begging? The truth is that there are people who get money from child beggary, which has become a kind of forced labour and slavery.

While walking in the street for shopping, we often come across mutilated children, who have lost their hands or legs. Our hands invariably go into our pockets seeing the pitiable condition of these children, but please tarry a little here. Does the money that you give them actually help them or nourish them? The truth is bitter!

These children are mostly chosen by gang members to invoke sympathy in the minds of people, so that they are given money. There are also alleged reports of other harsh realities that suggest that these kids do not lose their limbs in an accident. So how does it happen?

There are no guesses to make here. These innocent children are physically and mentally tortured. They are taught how to beg, pose sad faces, and cry. If they do not cry, then they are beaten up. There are also gangs who steal small children to make them beg. Such a case was reported by CNN this year.

A 7 year old Bangladeshi boy was brutally mutilated by gang members as he refused to beg. The boy was hit on the head with a brick and his throat was slit. When his mother found him, he was hardly recognizable.

This young boy survived and has become the key witness in a national investigation against the gang members in question. Shocking everybody, a report by the Human Rights Commission in India has said that apart from begging, children are kidnapped for various purposes, Working as cheap forced labour in illegal factories, establishments, homes, exploited as sex slaves or forced into the child porn industry, as camel jockeys in the Gulf countries, as child beggars in begging rackets, as victims of illegal adoptions or forced marriages, or perhaps, worse than any of these, as victims of organ trade and even grotesque cannibalism.

A CNN IBN special investigation in 2006 had proved the existence of Beggar Mafia in Mumbai. The investigation had astonishingly linked mafia to doctors. The IBN report had said, For the greed of earning a few substantial extra bucks, these doctors are ready to forget their professional ethics and code of conduct.

The investigation reveals the brutal truth of these doctors, who charge large sums of money and comply with the Beggar Mafia in amputating limbs of perfectly normal people and force them into begging. In 2009, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh was forced to order an enquiry as the scenes of movie slumdog millionaire became a reality.

The Daily Mail carried a report on how gangs were severing the limbs of street children in Mumbai to make them beg for extra money. Irrespective of the concern show by the PM, the ground reality has hardly changed. So how can we really help these poor children?

Giving a few coins or notes that are taken by the mafia gangs may not be the right way. The existence of children begging rackets may actually have arisen due to people giving large amounts to these unfortunate mutilated kids. Instead it would be a great idea to directly provide them treatment, and food so that they are also nourished and there is no such thing as begging mafia in the long run.

HSN